Mega

Oh, these are just dying to be bought, aren't they?  Thirty MEGA JUMBO crayons in a cool little plastic container.  And better yet: They're sold in the art section of a book store.  

Instant panache.  

And who doesn't want panache scattered amongst their art supplies?  

Plus, look at those colors! Sure, the classic Crayola 64-ct box has more than twice as many colors (and for the record, it's simply an abomination to peel the labels off crayons until absolutely necessary.  And even then it kills me), but here's the real question: Does that box have panache?  

I think the answer is clear.  

Say you: So how much were they? 

Say me: You're changing the subject.  -> 

Benefiting

I tend not to buy "Pink" products.  

No, I don't hate women who've had breast cancer.  


Yes, I'm aware of the statistics and realize it could be me someday. 

Yes, I want to see a cure.  

But do I think the concept of buying something in the grocery store to aid a cause is a bit disingenuous?  

Yes.  Yes I do.  

And don't try to equate The Pink Ribbon campaign, which you can't deny is close to the saturation point, with Suzi Smith from the local elementary school knocking on my door and selling me overpriced wrapping paper or candy because it's the not the same thing.  

Well, OK. Essentially it is.  But I'm not going to deny some cute kid the opportunity to peddle raise money for the The Man her education.  Besides, local school systems around the country have slowly been gutted over the years, teachers are under attack and I'm a huge supporter of public education. 

But I'm going to go out on a limb and say Bic isn't hurting. These marketing techniques, called "cause-related marketing", are wildly beneficial to the bottom lines of companies who throw a pink ribbon on their packaging.  There is no true philanthropy, right? I would call it schadenfreude if I was a cynic.  

(*cough*)

To be fair, Bic's money (which is to say, YOUR money if you chose to buy the product) is going here,  the gold standard for donating money for breast cancer research.  Of course, you could just give them money directly and cut out the middle man, yes?  ->

Mello

You all know my about my Sharpie fetish, right?  

Well...there may be a new contender for my heart.  

TUL. 

First of all, their website is really cool. 

Secondly, the pens look really cool.  

And as if those two reasons weren't enough to change allegiances...

Thirdly, they have little displays out at Office Max that allows for a potential buyer to give the pens a test run.  Not only does this clever marketing ploy service let you to feel the pen in hand, it offers you insight into the stuff that runs through people's minds when they doodle and/or test drive pens.  

And bonus! Photo op! 

Apparently the people of Norman, Oklahoma that shop at Office Max are either illiterate or boring.  

My friend told me she wrote things like "radioactive isotopes" and "torrid affairs" on the pad earlier in the day when she was making her decision.  So I specifically looked for her graffiti and was disappointed to find nothing but squiggles and a few "hellos".*

How perfectly mundane.  

So I took it upon myself to write "sesquipedalian" on every notebook they had out.  I also bought some TUL permanent markers.  I can't really tell if I'm going to elevate them to Sharpie status, you see, unless I write with ALL the colors.  Plus I need them.  -> 

*Come to find out she had gone to Office Depot.  Completely different store, it is. 

Gallery

 

I found this website last week, which admittedly could be trouble, and I was gathering supplies.  Natural stone beads jazz me up.  Love 'em.  Love the way the look and feel and sound. I just don't tend to use them all that often.  I don't make jewelry and I don't incorporate them in other projects much.  

But aren't they pretty?  ->

Fine Point

Oh, Sharpie!  How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways.  

1) You're permanent, so your ink doesn't run. Therefore no sloppy smudges all over what would otherwise be a pristine doodle. 

2) You come in all kinds of glorious colors.  I mean, come on!  Who doesn't have a need for tangerine ink every now and again?

3) I can use you on all sorts of locations.  Including the doorway to my kitchen where I've marked the kids' heights.  

4) You are perfect for writing on postcards.  

5) And journals.

6) Not to mention tennis shoes. 
7) And guitars, of course. 

8) When the kids get a hold of them and turn into budding tattoo artists concurrently under my nose and behind my back, it will last for days.  And if they happen to draw on the in-law's furniture, said in-laws have art that last a lifetime.  Or better yet, the impetus for getting NEW furniture.  See?  Everybody wins. 

9) Did I mention the pretty colors? 

10) You have all sorts of wondrous products, in all kinds of shapes and sizes and inks and tips and whatnot, so there's something for everyone.  I mean, honestly? Who wouldn't go weak at the knees for a gel (GEL!) highlighter?  

11) You have a nifty blog

12) When I accidentally get you on my clothes, it's there forever.  So you're always with me. 

13) I talked about the colors, right?  Like 80's glam!  Hello?  Banana clip yellow?  Hell. Yes.
14) When the kids forget to put the top back on you following their tattoo pursuits, you dry out in like, 4 hours.  Meaning I'm forced to go to the store and buy replacements.  Because I can't have a set of 36 colors with hot pink missing. 
15) Meaning I have lots of extras lying around.  Yay!  

Say you: Wow?  Aren't you ashamed of this post Ms. Anti-Consumer-Don't-Support-The-Man blogger?  

 Say me: No.  I'm not too proud to be a total whore for Sharpie.  The profound irony being that Sharpie doesn't even know who I am and is not giving me one red penny for this free advertising, so really I'm just a Sharpie slut. 

My mom's so proud.  -> 

Days Of

 

I am absolutely not going to go off on the scrapbooking crowd. Because I value my life.  Let's just say that lot is, um, enthusiastic about their hobby.  And hobby stores cater to their needs.  To wit:  

One mile of aisle space in the store dedicated specifically to their needs.  And that's just for the stickers.  -> 

Tick Tock

Isn't this the coolest ring?  Santa gave it to me for Christmas with heavy, heavy guidance (read: I picked it out at the Girlie Show and Mom bought for me and then made me wait.) If you can't tell, it's a clock mechanism that's been reconfigured.  


I love this thing.  -> 

Oro

  

Sometimes I'm so in touch with my Inner Martha it's embarrassing. 

To wit:  

Today, in the spirit of reducing, reusing, and recycling I pulled out the big guns from the Michaels bag craft drawer.  And I'm not talking pom poms. Or googly eyes. Or Apple craft paints. I'm talking the mother of all craft supplies: glitter.  And not just any jars of glitter either.  Oh, no.  I am now the possessor of glitter in quantities enough to coat your vehicle. 

Say you: Because that's what everyone wants.  A glitter coated car. 

Say me: Absolutely.  

Anyhoo.  Project Pumpkin!  Stated goal: To turn fall pumpkins into Christmas pumpkins. And because I'm such a power mom, I not only organized a mother/daughter bonding activity, I took the opportunity to teach my child about being green by leading with example.  I reused the pumpkins and reduced the amount of tchotchkes I purchased for the season.  

So.  The before pic:  

Some glue mixed with water, some painting of the glue mixture on the pumpkins, some pouring of the glitter and viola!  Pumpkins that Liberace would simply die to own: 

You know you are quivering with envy and thinking to yourself as you're reading:  "Self.  you MUST get some glitter and revamp your pumpkins to look like Liberace's dining room. Right now."  

Of course.....


....it must be said that glitter contains evil, harmful properties.  It's a proven fact.  I'm not sure the FDA is aware of its terrible side-effects, but I'm convinced that at this time, the glitz industry, aided and abetted by their scientists and lobbyists, are indeed part of a massive cover-up that would rival Joe Camel and his ilk.  


You see, when one is anticipating a glitter project, the adrenaline starts coursing through ones' brain and gets the user all addled. Here's the really sinister part:  ANY project on tap is inevitably coupled with a serious case of amnesia which can begin up to 24 hours prior to the Opening of the Coruscation.  So the user forgets that with glitter and forty-two-year olds eight-year-olds comes this:  

And no amount of preventative measures prevents this sparkle mayhem.  The glitter, once out of container, multiply exponentially and spread like rumors in the office.  


Yeah.  That's rubber grout on my tile tabletop.  You can go after it with an industrial vacuum and toothpicks covered with silly putty and there will still be evidence of my sparkle pumpkins 12 months hence.  Not to mention the fact that it now appears as if Tinker Bell came in my house and vomited on my kitchen floor and, by proxy, my living room carpet. 

Say you: glitter is horrible for the environment. You can't throw those in your compost bin, you know.  

Say me: SEE???  Another fact those sinister properties mask at the time of purchase!  

Oh, and one more thing.  


I didn't have any appropriate glitter for the task at hand, so I had to buy some. And one color wasn't really going to be enough (who wants mono-chromatic pumpkins? Eww.) so I had to buy three. 

Say you: Three colors of glitter?  Really? 

Say me: Hey! I refrained from getting green.  

Oh.....*cough*    I sorta didn't have glue either.  


So my project to reuse my 50¢-a-pop pumpkins actually cost me $20.96 plus tax.  


The good news being that I have enough glitter and glue to coat your car.  Did I mention that?  -> 

Sharpie

  

There are some things in life with which there is no compromise. You get the trusted brand or you suffer the consequences of your cheap economical decision.  Seen here is a prime example.  Sharpies are the best permanent markers out there and don't even try to sell me on another brand because you're just wasting your touch-type skills. Plus, they have all these new products which simply make me swoon. I almost, but not quite, have the same affliction with Sharpies that I do with wrapping paper.  

On another note, the Tim Holtz scissors are pretty bad-ass, although certainly not required.  I now own two pair and guard them with my life.  I used to get really irritated when my dad would go postal upon discovering I'd pilfered borrowed some prized office gizmo from his study when I was a kid.  (God. It's a PEN.  Get OVER it.) 

Now I get it.  -> 

PS: Yes, I save and use old credit cards for all kinds of art projects.  

Related articles:

• Sharpie's New Liquid Pencil (oddmods.com)
• Sharp Thinking: Using a Sharpie to Restore a Faded Rug (apartmenttherapy.com)

Yard Sale!*

    

If ever there was a microcosm of American consumerism, a yard sale, garage sale, tag sale, estate sale, whatever is it.  Oh, the gems one can find (read: Jenny Craig on cassette).  MUST HAVE items of 5, 10, 20 + years ago, unceremoniously dumped on card tables and sold for a quarter for the duel purpose of earning cash (read: serious depreciation disguised as "making money") and clearing the way for the current MUST HAVE items of today.  

I happen to like estate sales as the goodies at those are much more abundant, but my mother-in-law was working this one today so I went over expecting to find nothing.  

Instead, since it was near the end of the sale, I was told I could fill a paper bag (per yard sale rules) full of treasures for a mere two bucks.  

Hello.  Who can possibly turn this bargain down?  

Say you:  So that little guy up there now lives in your house. 

Say me: No.  

But I did get a nifty vintage 3-hole punch, some vintage wrapping paper (You know me and wrapping paper), a bulletin board, 3 mason jars, some needles in their original packaging that initially sold for 15¢....

Say you: OK!  I get it.  You found some cool stuff. But did you really need any of it?  

Say me: Well, clearly. Aa house is not a home without a vintage 3-hole punch. ->  

*Back story:  The tag seen in the picture was attached to a ceramic bird.  My mother-in-law bought it for her garden.  The doll was made in China and still on the table when I left.  

Duck Tape

    

Who on earth ever decided that the world at large needed jungle themed duct tape?  Neon orange?  In-your-face pink?  Police-tape yellow?  Seriously?   

Purple duct tape, however, is a completely different matter.  ->