Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Phone Peeve

We all have pet peeves right?  


But some rank much higher on the annoyances scale than others.  

To wit:  

I'm sure you're thinking that it's the fact that the cord doesn't match the phone that has sent me over the edge here.  But in reality, that's not the case at all. I rather like phones with mix-n-match hardware. They remind me of the phone my father kept in his study in Baton Rouge years ago. It was the standard issue Southwestern Bell desk phone: 

But he tricked it out by having a white phone base a red receiver and a blue cord.  

It was 1976.  

By the way, that phone up there lives in my office. I'm proud to say it works and I love it. Ebay. $20.  

Say you: You digress. 
Say me: I do.  

So anyway, back the pet peeve. Here, let me help you out: 

I was confronted with this at work the other night. Which under normal circumstances is fine. I would "uncurl" the cord my normal way, which is it say I would take it off the hook, let it hang upside down, watch it twirl itself right again, then return the receiver to its place so that the phone looks like it's supposed to look

and continue on my merry way. 

Except on this particular night when I saw it, I thought "Oh! Blog fodder!"  

Meaning I was compelled to 1)take a before picture 2) take a fixing-the-problem picture and 3)take an after picture. Because I can't compete with the big blogs without gratuitous pretty pictures.  

And I don't know about you, but nothing makes me weak-kneed more than pictures of mis-matched hospital phones and phone cords.  

Herein lies the rub with my grand plan: I was, as I said, at work. I was quickly able to snap the "before" shot. But the "fixing-the-problem" shot proved to be, well, a problem.  

The main issue was I happened to be sitting right outside the room where I had just gone in and assessed a woman. Her family was standing by the door and--here's the crucial part--was keenly observing me. So I couldn't very well start taking random pictures of the phone when I was supposed be, you know, doing my job. I mean, I guess I could have, but believe it or not I do like to present a professional front. 

Therefore I was forced to use the phone with the twisted cord for the better part of an hour.  

Which about did me in.  

Because when I wasn't using the phone, I was staring at the twisted cord. Like rubber-necking on the highway when there's an accident or a cat with a new-found parakeet cage, I was simply incapable of NOT looking at it. 

Yes, I could have just untwisted it without the picture. But at that point, my mind was made up.  I was getting the picture, dammit. But the entire time I could do nothing while being taunted by the twisted cord, I felt like a junkie in need of a fix. 

I went searching for chocolate. 

Naturally there was none to be found in the ER. 

Stingy-ass nurses hiding their stash. Bah.

When I was finally in a holding pattern at work and literally had nothing else to do until a phone call came my way, I set to the task of documenting the grand unwinding process.

Have you ever tried to hold a camera and frame a decent shot while simultaneously attempting to capture a phone cord uncurl?  

Picture, if you will, a yoga session gone horribly awry. 

I held the phone up. I tried to configure the camera. I took pictures I didn't mean to take. I took meaningless pictures. I contorted myself for the best shot. I stood up to get a better angle. I think, although I can't be certain, that I uttered expletives....

I was so engrossed in my task that I completely failed to notice that I'd drawn the attention of not one but two nurses. When I finally looked up, they were making no efforts to conceal the fact that they were staring at me--had obviously been doing so for a while. 

Nurse one, to me: WHAT are you doing? 
Me: Um...taking pictures of the phone.  

Duh.  ->  

1 comment:

Teresa said...

My dog & I both have the same problem with curled hair dryer cords so we know exactly what you're talking about. :) Taking a picture of the 2 of us unfurling the cord would probably also result in some interesting and unintentional shots.

But at least there would be no witnesses...