Circo

Back to school shopping is much more tedious these days now that Little Missy actually has the nerve to express opinions about what clothes we buy.  What's that all about?  -> 

Hello kitty

Do you realize how long Hello Kitty has been around (1976)?  Did you know the character was originally introduced in Japan and has since become one of the most recognizable fiction characters in the world?  She has stores devoted to her.  Online sites devoted to her. She's become so ubiquitous that one guy devoted a blog to her (which you can now find on my blogroll, because the concept is brilliant.)  

I'm pretty ambivalent towards Hello Kitty, but I suspect I would feel quite differently if Little Missy ever became enamored with her and my house was inundated with her image.  Thankfully, I've been spared (*looking for wood upon which to knock*) -> 

Studio 35

Open 10 AM

Surfside Beach, South Carolina, is not hurting for mini-golf courses (for the record, I effing hate mini-golf.  HATE.)  I'm going to guess that there are at least 250 of them.  


Ok, maybe not 250 of them.  


But  a lot.  -> 

Zelda and Spotty

When you are on vacation and you visit the aquarium there, a visit to the aquarium shop, thus a purchase of cute stuffed animals that reside in said shop, is required. At least if you're a grandmother. ->



-Posted using (enter requisite phrase which brags about your cool gadgets and applications for said gadget here)

Location:N Seaside Dr,Myrtle Beach,United States

John Deer

Lockey

"What" you ask "is that?" Allow me to enlighten you.

This is what's called a "slap bracelet" which is all the rage right now for the target market age group of five to eleven-year-old girls. I guess they're kinda cool. It's easier for a visual than for me to try and explain them so I think you'll find this Youtube video quite educational.

At any rate, the animal on top of said bracelet has been dubbed The Loch Ness Monster. This gem was a treat from the dentist's office. And while I appreciate them not handing out Smarties like they doctor's office does, I can't say I appreciate more worthless junk crossing my threshold and destined to be hanging with the dust bunnies under the bed inside of a week.

Little Missy named her "Lockey".

Maybe with that personal touch, it will be ten days before she's residing with the dust bunnies. ->



-Posted using (enter requisite phrase which brags about your cool gadgets and applications for said gadget here)

$74 7

-Posted using (enter requisite phrase which brags about your cool gadgets and applications for said gadget here)

"Marbled" Paper

I interrupt this regularly scheduled blog for a Mommy Blogger Craft Post. 


I'll give you some time to hurl.  


(...waiting....)


(You drank some water on sucked on an Altoid, right?) 


OK.  


So.  


Summer doldrums kick in pretty early and I thought making marbled paper would be a happy, happy, fun, fun, minimal cost project.  Before we go any further and in the spirit of keeping with this year's theme, "minimal cost" translated to $9.50. 


I saw a Youtube tutorial on it, but I'm going to give you the step-by-step complete-with-pictures post, thereby channeling my inner-Mormon-Bloggy-Mom.  But I'm warning you.  I digress from their style in that some of my pictures are fuzzy, and I'm just not one to care enough to re-stage the photographs. My pic of the day isn't fuzzy, which is good enough for me.  


Say you: You have an inner-Mormon-bloggy-Mom?
Say me: Apparently.  


Ready?  Here goes.  


Materials you need: 

• card stock or regular paper 
• food coloring
• shaving cream  (Yes.  I'm serious) 
• A scraper of some kind
• a fork (Trust me.  This all comes together)
• plates
• big towel to cover your work surface  

Prep time:  Five minutes
Time distracting the wee ones: 1/3 the time it's going to take me to blog about the whole thing. In other words, not nearly long enough. 


Step one.  Get out your shaving cream: 

Step two: Spray out an alarming amount of shaving cream onto your allotted plate.  Don't freak about using a plate.  This is soap for crying out loud.  It will wash off.   (Please ignore paper plate in the pictures)

Before we go any further, can we just talk about how fun shaving cream is?  No joke. That stuff is as squeezable and irresistible as a fat baby.  I mean really, you can just stop right here and play with the whipped shaving cream, it's so mesmerizing....


Onward.  


Next, take your food coloring (gratuitous picture alert)

Pic of the day

and put dots of color randomly on your mound of cream: 

Oh, let's add one more color, just for shits and giggles. 


Say you: I don't think Mormon Mommy bloggers use the word "shit" in their posts. 
Say me: I bet this ex-Mormon Mom uses worse.  


Anyway, one more color.  Just for shits and giggles: 

Now for the fork.  Take your fork and swirl those colors around, but not to the point that they're mixed completely together.  You know, "marble" it.  

(Do you like how I kept the fork in the picture?  More artsy, no?)


Next, take a piece of paper and squish it down on your mound of cream and swirly colors.  This, my friends, is why the first thing you did was place a towel under your work surface....


Say you: You said step one was getting out the shaving cream! 
Say me: Did I?  Oh.  I guess I did.  Well, step one SHOULD be covering your work surface with a towel.   


Anyway.  Squish. 

Pull it off 

And scrape away the shaving cream: 

Ta da!  (please excuse the REALLY blurry picture.  My hands were covered with all kinds of shit)


Say you: There's that word again
Say me: Bite me.  
Say you: I don't think a Mormon Mommy would use such a retort.  
Say me: Bite me again. 


As I was saying....


Ta da!   

If you're so inclined, now is the time to clap with glee and hurryandmakeanotheronebecauseWOWsosocool!  


 The excess on the scraper can be reused to cover the remaining paper, not the mention the leftover shaving cream sitting on your plate.  You can also add contrasting color to this used mixture for a more vibrant look. 


At this point, you're free to use your paper for all kinds of silly crafts home projects. 


Here was the end result of our endeavors: 

I would also like to point out that we tried this method, which was referred by a Mormon Mommy.

Disaster.  


I know she insists you get "beautiful results".  Which I suppose is one to describe oil spots on paper: 

 Trust me when I tell you that this was pretty much the way it went for all my efforts.  So I sorta improvised, wadded up the paper and dipped it right into the coloring:  

Which simply resulted in more coverage on oily, now-scrunched up paper.  And stains on my picnic chair:

And my picnic table: 

Did I mention I forget to wear gloves?  ->

Miracle

The makers of Super! Miracle! Bubbles! don't want you to know it, but you can actually make your own bubble solution.  -> 

Aurora

This little number's been hiding at the bottom of Lib's dress-up box for at least a year.  We had a three-year-old over here last night who discovered it in short order.  

Damn you, Disney, for your brilliant marketing schemes.  

I don't know why, but this particular ploy of theirs irritates me to no end.  Like we needed more incentive to hand them our hard-earned dollars, they came up with the "Princess" franchise a mere 10 years ago, plastering their princesses of previous movies on everything from dolls to books to games to bedroom decor, which increased their sales exponentially.  And I've played a role in to too, but not by purchasing the dresses.  This is why grandmothers exist. -> 

Trading

Take two.  The more I looked at this photo, the more I liked it .  Should have gone with it in the first place.  

Only

Only Hearts.  Kinda like Ty pets, only half the size and pretty much the same price. I'd never even heard of them until today.  You can get them at Borders if you absolutely must have one hanging from your keys.  ->

Ty

I went to an estate sale this afternoon for the sole purpose of getting office supplies.  Unfortunately, the people whose home I was raiding obviously didn't have the passion for such important matters, because there were none to be had. 

But she did like those stupid ubiquitous beanie dolls.  I swear to you, there were well over 200 of them--peacocks and penquins and cats and dogs and bugs and bears, bears, bears, stuffed unceremoniously into boxes and being sold for $2 a pop.  Unless they were encased alone in a very special plastic box.  Then they sold for $4 a pop. 

I can remember one time I went to McDonalds for breakfast and the line for the drive-thru was around the corner.  It was moving pretty quickly and I wasn't in a hurry, so I waited it out.  When I made my order the response to me from the electronic box was an incredulous:  "You don't want a Happy Meal?"  "No", I replied.  "Just an Egg McMuffin, thanks." 

When I got to the window, I asked about why she questioned my order.  Apparently the toy in the Happy Meal, for a limited time only!, was a Ty beanie baby.  And people were lined up around the corner of McDonalds to acquire it. They had just gone on sale that day. 

I'm sure you'll be shocked to learn I didn't buy any.  And neither did Little Missy.  She bought a limited edition Barbie Doll instead.  -> 

$4

I can remember when super balls entered my world.  I was a kid, 5th grade to be precise, and my friend Heather* and I would stand yards apart on the concrete parking lot during recess and bounce that thing to each other the entire time.  We did it every recess for several weeks and eventually started a trend.  The balls of yore were tiny, but they had some serious spring to them.  

I have to say, I can't help but be impressed with what evolution has done to the standard bouncy ball.  The one in the pic is clear, has glittered water, and hello!  An eyeball!  And check this out:  when you bounce the ball, the eyeball lights up!  No, it doesn't matter that this generation's version doesn't have near the bounce.  Did you catch that it has an eyeball that lights up inside the ball? 

Say you: I'm sure that eyeball's light will burn out inside of a week.

Say me: Whatever.  Killjoy.  

And yes,  I bounced it.  Several times.  I had to get the lit-up eyeball for the picture, you see. ->


*You know how some school years are just extraordinarily bad?  Fifth grade was like that for me.  If it hadn't been for Heather, I wouldn't have made it.  We're still in touch.  

11

 

Because this is what we all need.  Cute, dated stuffed animals. ->

Lite•Br

 

Remember when I was walking thru Darth Mart back on October 26, 2010 and I saw out of the corner of my eye, from afar, that the evil little packaged brownies looked like "Lite Brite"? 

Well, I found one in the Good Will store today.  Not evil little packaged brownies. Those tend not to be in Good Will stores, although they have enough preservatives in them that they could be. No, I saw a Lite Brite!  I was all excited and thought for a minute about buying it--you know, to take me back to my room in Baton Rouge, Louisiana when I would spend hours in front of it with Paul Simon as my soundtrack. 

Then I remembered it comes with 1,267 of those little light bulb thingies, three of which inevitably will end up on the kitchen floor and embedded in the bottom of my foot within 24 hours.  The rest of them, like Leggos and marbles, will quickly multiply and slowly migrate to the rest of the house and my impetuousness will result in my finding those bastards in the depths of closets and corners for years to come. 

I'll pass.   

Besides, this the age of the iPhone and companies cater to Gen Xers who are loathe to let go of their youth.  There has to be an app for that, right?  

You betcha.  ->

(This was the first 45 I ever bought with my own money:)

Darci Dolls

My friend makes these and sells them at local fairs.  Everyone in her inner and outer circle of friends has at least one. They're happy and fabulous. ->

Sock it to Me

   

You know how some specific places remind you of a specific person? 

Hospital gift shops do that for me.  LONG ago, a friend of the family came to see me right after I birthed my eldest, AKA "The Boy".  And when I say "friend of the family" she was, indeed, a friend of the family.  Her son and my brother were quite tight as kids; in fact  he was an usher in my wedding because he was practically another member of the family.  She and my mother were dear friends for many years and my dad and her husband were thick as thieves.  

Anyway, she came and saw me 24 hours after TJ arrived,  bearing all kinds of gifts, and they were all from the hospital's gift shop.  When I commented on the surprises a few weeks later, I found out that she adored hospital gift shops and never failed to shop in them when she had to visit friends or family for any reason.  It was an interesting nugget about her, and I've always kept it with me. 

Time goes by.  Things change.  Her son and my brother eventually had a fallen out and haven't spoken in years.  She and her husband divorced and thus the friendship with my folks floated away as will happen in those circumstances.  And tragically, a few years ago on her way home from work she was killed in a car accident.  

I was in a hospital today--not one where I work--due to The Boy having an appointment with a specialist.  I stopped in the gift shop afterwards (to much groaning and eye-rolling from him as he's seen me in action with this project, ie, I take a lot of shots before I find one I like) and the sock monkey caught my attention. And I thought of our old friend as I always do when I see such botiques.    

The Boy liked the extreme close-up so that's what I chose.  Mr. Monkey looks a bit sinister doesn't he?  

On another note, is it me or are these monkeys in a compromising position?   -> 

Spooky Stuff

Ok, there are many things about Halloween that are supposed to scare me.  And I will admit, some of them do a pretty good job.  I don't do horror movies, for instance, and I refuse to do haunted houses, even if they're just in someone's garage.

Say you: Pansy. 

Say me: Right?  

But these things right here?  These things terrify me on multiple levels:  

  

That's right, folks.  "Creatures in a Jar: Gummies in Liquid Candy".  These were on display at Little Missy's Halloween Extravaganza at school.  One of the moms thought the were really cute and HAD to buy them.  Kids: One each, only. Trade later if you must. 


Let's just start with the ingredient list, shall we?  Ok, never mind.  I didn't bother because I didn't want to see it.  But I've no doubt the first thing listed was high fructose corn syrup, followed by (in no particular oder): dextrohydrocarbonhyphenatedxbox, sucrosuspendedmuckxycontinbox, lactogenericthrowinwordscuzpeoplewontreadthisxywordbox, and chartreuse colorant No. 7.  


Secondly, did you see Silence of the Lambs?* Do you remember that scene when Jodi Foster goes in the abandoned storage shed that had a stuck door and she had to jack it open and crawl in there and she hurt her leg when she crawled under it and she needed a flashlight cuz there's was no light and it was all dusty and musty and there was a head in a jar tucked away in back and the camera zoomed THIS CLOSE on it (in my memory, anyway.) Well, those things up there look exactly like that head, just on a smaller scale.  And I don't do heads in jars. 


Thirdly: Liquid candy?  Really?  REALLY? I mean, dessert wine, sure.  But actual liquid candy?  Ugh.  


Fourthly:  What a waste of money!  How many kids are actually going to eat those?  


I forgot I'm not eight. A few of them actually did.  And I have proof:  

 

She's a brave little soldier, isn't she?  And it's hard to tell, but that pink lizard is dripping with the, um,  liquid candy.  I'm sure she required a shot of insulin soon after she arrived home.  For the record, that child doesn't belong to me.  My child gave her Creepy Freaky Thing in a (not #2 plastic) Jar to a buddy.  


And there there were some fellow pansies kindred spirits who chose a different, more subtle, route: 


                       
From packaging, to table, to hands, to trash: 19 minutes.  -> 


*There's a story with that movie and The Geek.  Remind me to tell you about it sometime.  

Related articles

• 12 Gross Candies Perfect For Trick or Treaters (neatorama.com)
• Caffeine & Edibles : Gummy Brain (thinkgeek.com)