Showing posts with label bitching about my lack of photography skills. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bitching about my lack of photography skills. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Bulletin: I'm Not To Be Trusted

You know, or perhaps you don't, that I recently took up photography as a serious hobby. I've always had creative outlets. For a decade a threw pots on a potter's wheel* and here's the rub: what led me to enroll in my very first pottery class in the summer of 2000 was I was looking for a photography class in which to enroll. There were none available at that facility at the time, so I took the clay class on a whim.  


A dozen years later, I've come full circle. 


I learned a bit about pottery and all the affects it can have on others when I was knee-deep in the hobby. What it does not do, however, is freak people out.  


Which photography seems to do on a regular basis. Three times in five days I experienced people making a point of coming up to me when I was taking pictures (of STUFF, mind, not sneaking pictures of people from across the street)and asked me what I was doing.  


And not in a nice way either. Nope. It was in a what-the-hell-are-you-DOING kind of way. 


I had not one, but two dudes ask what I was doing when I got this shot: 


They're behind a transmission shop in OKC. 
Gee, I don't know? Taking pictures. Which, hello? Last time I checked wasn't illegal. 


But I'm beginning to learn people are really paranoid. 


I ended up with a portrait from one guy, but the other fella was almost hostile. I returned to my vehicle after I'd been gone (circling the block, snapping away) a good 20 minutes and he literally knocked on my car window for the sole purpose of interrogating me. Why was I taking the pictures? What's my name? What's the name of my blog? It really surprised me. When I gave it more thought after he was gone, I concluded he had been waiting on me. He knocked within 30 seconds of me arriving back to my car.  


Here's some irony: just two nights ago I was taking pictures outside my old clay studio. There was a clay class going on at the time, but I never pointed my camera in the direction of the windows. I was taking pics of the sculptures in front of the building and of this: 




Yet the clay instructor came outside and asked why I was taking pictures, was I taking a class, what was the subject matter of my pictures...  


I was in front of a public building. 


That the city owns.  


That also happens to be an ART CENTER which offers photography classes.  


What. The. Fuck?  


To be fair he was nice. Apparently though, someone in his class as some anxiety issues. Because she came outside and listened to our conversation, arms folded, piercing stare, never said a word. She seemed skeptical that I was merely an amateur photographer and not, you know, a member of the CIA or FBI. Or a terrorist.


For the record, I'm not.**


I just like typography and texture. 


Fine, I like people too. 


Allow me to take this opportunity to pimp my new people blog. 


Which was really the whole reason for this post. -> 


PS: In all seriousness, I offered both gentlemen the opportunity to see my pictures to prove that I wasn't some spy, just a hobbiest. They declined. It did irritate that I was put on the defense. I'm thinking business cards might make me seem more legit, but I wouldn't want anything serious on there. Something like: Tanya Mattek, Wannabe Photographer. 


*not my picture
**An employee of the CIA or FBI, I mean. Apparently my status as a terrorist is questionable. 

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Introducing....

Sometimes I think I should live on a farm. I find all farm animals fascinating in a ridiculous kind of way, and every time I encounter them I want to take them home with me. 


Never mind that I live in the middle of town. A goat would look totally cool hanging out in my backyard.  


Seriously.  


How can you not love goats? 


Or sheep? 


Or COWS?  


Cows are awesome. 


I mean, they're huge and sorta terrify me when I see them up close but every time I initially encounter them my brain interprets them as kittens and I just want to snuggle them and bring one home with me. 


Plus bonus! Milk. 


And don't you DARE go there.  


I'm not a vegetarian, but NO cow of mine would end up on my table. 


Nope. I would name her Mable and she would be my pet forever and ever. I would put a bell around her neck and she would be the talk of the town and hand out candy to all the (read: two) goblins who knock on my door on Halloween. Good thing I have a king-sized bed, because I imagine they take up a lot of room sleeping and I need my space at night. 


Say you: What about The Geek? Where would he sleep? 

Say me: Who?   


Look! I can prove to you how much I love cows. Check out the wallpaper on my phone: 


I took this on an Amish farm 2 years ago.  I named the cow iRonnie.  
Which brings me to my new dream pet. 


As I noted the other day, I met him at a local greenhouse and I was stunnedAs soon as I saw him, I knew he could be Beyonce's boyfriend.I also knew he could bring to my blog a certain...je ne c'est quoi...that it needed. 
I swore to myself I would go back and get his picture because he's the most spectacular thing ever.**


You'll see why in just a minute. 


But first let me tell you how difficult it was getting him on "film." He wasn't elusive so much as cameraphobic. Any time I got even remotely close to him with my gizmo, he took off like a bullet. Naturally he would go hide out UNDER all the Lllllloooonnnngggg plant tables, which did nothing for my planned photo exhibition but amplify the fact that 1) my knees aren't getting any younger and 2) I seriously need a camera that takes better pictures in low lighting. If nothing else, I need to invest in a better flash instead of using the crappy on-board one.*** 


I digress.  


I stalked him. For almost an hour. I tried to get him out in the open. I tried to get him eating. I tried to set up shots beforehand and catch him on the move for a groovy "action shot." But he seemed to always be one step ahead of me. Anytime he was still for just a moment, I had naturally chosen to take a break and put the camera down just prior, forcing me to scramble and try and catch him. Therefore for all of my efforts most of what I captured looked like this:



Cheeky bastard. 


After following him around for nearly an hour, and getting mocked by the Mexican work force (they were talking in Spanish, but I know parody when I hear it) I finally caught him. 


It was worth it.  


The woman at the nursery called him "the stupidest bird" but I think that just adds to his charm. My friends, meet Larry, The Rooster Who Dons an Andy Warhol Wig.  


I want one.  WANT.  My birthday is in May.  


He's now the Trench Warfare (too) mascot. ->


UPDATE:  


I have a fan! She's also an old friend, but she a is regular here in my trench and OMG I could totally kiss her right now. Which is an appropriate response considering the whole Beyonce + Larry = Hart thing I've got going on right now.  


Just LOOK what she did!  




Thanks, Deirdre! 


*See? This is the kind of devoted reader I am. I find genuine companions for your metal yard ornaments. You WANT me following your blog.  


**So much so, that as soon as I post this entry he's going to be my new cover photo on my Facebook page. 


***YES, Geek Man. I went to the camera shop. Thppt.