Eat ALL the Chocolate! (+ Roosters)

I do believe it's not unreasonable to devote an entire to entry to fact that eating chocolate might make you thinner.  


You read that correctly.  


I'm not lying!  


So, in honor of this happy fact, I'm linking back to my recipe for The Best Cookie on the Planet. Which you will want to make TODAY and share with all your friends put in Easter baskets next week and have for breakfast lunch and dinner since eating chocolate three times a day is the new Weight Watchers.  


Go forth and consume Ghiradellis. Specifically the dark chcolate squares embellished with sea salt and almonds.   


Now! 


I totally lied.  


I'm not devoting the entire blog entry to chocolate, because it's important to address my encounter with a rooster the other day: 

He yelled at me. I've decided roosters, as a lot, are bastards.

He lives at a local greenhouse with about 20 buddies.


A rooster frat house, if you will.  


And I'm going back because how can one possibly turn down the opportunity to take pictures of roosters? 


There's one in particular that I MUST capture on pixels because...well...I'll leave you hanging for now.  Just trust me when I tell you it's essential.  


And THIS, my friends, is why The Bloggess should pose with a taxidermied stoat for my blog.* 


Because I found a boyfriend for Beyonce and I'll prove it as soon as I get his picture. 


UPDATED 15 minutes later: OMG. So relevant. 


Song of the week**: 

*You see what I did there?
**I'm TOTALLY making this song my blog's theme song. I can do it even if I don't have a metal rooster in my yard.  

I'm Sorry, I'm All Domestic Today.

It's not even Thanksgiving yet, and already I've had so much junk cooking going on in my kitchen I'm ready to mainline broccoli.  

My exciting Friday night this past weekend consisted of baking an entire acre's worth of refined sugar cane, with some chocolate thrown in for good measure. I had so many cookies lying around and not nearly enough space in which to cool them (read: was thoroughly unprepared because I only own one cookie cooling rack) that I had to get quite creative with where I was cooling them while rotating batches in and out the oven: 

Say you: Hold the phone! What kind of cookie is THAT? 


Say me: That, my salivating friend, is simply put, the best cookie on the planet. 


Period.  


I started with a Martha recipe and then I heavily tweaked it. Because believe it or not, Martha ain't always all that.  My brother, when watching me make them one year, decided that...wait for it...a Hershey's caramel kiss nestled in the center was the way to go. 


His name is Stuart, but we've called him Stu forever. 


So we dubbed the cookies "Stooders" in his honor, even though I think the kiss is a little over-the-top and only do half the batch that way. 


And before you ask, yes, I'll give you the recipe. It's been a work in progress for a few years now and the peanut butter chips are a recent and welcome addition. I threw them in on a whim one day.  I'll never go back to not having them there.


Stooders (or STU-ders)


Preheat oven to 325 F 
metric conversion


1 cup flour
3/4 cocoa powder 
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon course salt
1 1/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 tablespoon instant coffee
2 eggs
1/2 cup butter (1 stick)
1 12 oz bag semi or bittersweet chocolate chips
6 oz peanut butter chips
3/4 cup of walnuts when not making them for Stu, who tragically doesn't like nuts in his cookies. 
Optional: Hershey's caramel kisses




Yield: about 2 dozen
Calories per cookie: None. 


In a double boiler, melt 6 ounces, or 1/2 the bag of chocolate chips(approximately 1 cup)and butter over low heat. When melted, stir in vanilla and instant coffee. 


While the chocolate and butter are melting, mix together all the dry ingredients. Pour in the melted chocolate mixture and mix well.  Add your eggs and mix until thoroughly combined.  


Add the remaining chocolate chips, the peanut butter chips and the walnuts to the batter and stir until all the add-ons are well incorporated. 


Bake for 12 to 15 minutes or until cracks show on the top of the cookie. I always line my pans with parchment paper before baking.   


If you're adding the kiss, do so immediately after you pull the cookies from the oven. Let cool completely before storing in a dry, airtight container. 


Some quick tips on this particular step: 


1) Unwrap the kisses before you put them on top of the cookie. I suppose you could skip this step, but when you bite on foil it hurts those back fillings. Plus I can't imagine it's all that easy on the digestive system. 


2) My brother had the nerve to suggest Hershey's peanut butter cups instead of the caramel kiss tonight when he tasted the peanut butter-chip version for the first time. Go this route at your own risk. 


3) I think it's best to just put one piece of candy on any given cookie. Any more than that and you'll be required to have your dentist on speed-dial. Not to mention your endocrinologist.  


Happy Thanksgiving to all my American readers. Happy hump day to everyone! ->

Of Interest, Week of August 29, 2011

Bit of a new format for the blog I'm going to try for the next 12 months.  Let's see how it goes.  I'll start with the picture on Monday, some kind of life rant on Wednesday, and a roundup of interesting web fodder, news, world events, etc on Friday.  Fridays will also be music day.  Because what's a weekend without music?  


So without further ado:  


 A European cow went on the lamb right before getting escorted to the slaughterhouse and was eventually granted amnesty.  Go Yvonne!  (Update: She was caught. )


A fellow social worker in Columbus pointed out recently that social work is in the top three for career and depression.  What, we're no longer number one?  Obviously we need to step up our game this coming year.   


A cool website my dad told me about.  Start clicking.   And while I'm at it, happy birthday Pops!  He's 68 years old today and fortunately in great health.  Hopefully he has many more ahead of him. 


An entire book about bananas.  Seriously.  I really want to read it after hearing this interview.  


I want to try these.  The heading says they're guilt free so the must be.  


Check out Oklahoma artist Penny Hill: 

Know

My dad loves these.  I've never been a fan.  I love raisins, but it's one of those treats best left on their own.  Don't get all cute and throw them in my cinnamon roll or salad or granola or muffin.  And don't you DARE defile a cookie with raisin.  It's an insult to them both.   

The only way I do raisins in conjunction with any other food (other than Raisin Bran, which doesn't count*) is if they're tossed with peanuts and (dark) chocolate M&Ms. A mix that is hand made, by the way, not bought in the store.  

Say you: Hold up!  What's the difference between eating a dark chocolate covered raisin and eating a raisin and a dark chocolate M&M at the same time?  

Say me: You're making the assumption that when this lovely mix is in front of me, I eat the raisins and M&Ms together.  I don't.  I eat the M&Ms with the peanuts.  I eat the peanuts with raisins.  But I don't mix the raisins and the M&Ms.  Ever.  It's quite the methodical process, actually. 

Raisin/M&M/Peanut Trail Mix 

(I'm a total brand snob with this mix, but you can toy around with the ratios of nut to raisin to chocolate all day) 

1 cup Sun Maid raisins 

1.5 cups Planter's sea salted peanuts 

1 cup dark chocolate M&Ms  

or 

2 cups dark chocolate M&Ms 

or 

3 cups dark chocolate M&Ms....

*By-the-way, you can't add raisins to Raisin Bran because the raisins you put in later are different from the raisins in the box and then it's all kinds of wrong going on in your mouth.  

Related articles

• National Chocolate Covered Raisins Day (sirjohn331.wordpress.com)
• Raisins Would Never, Ever Make The Final Four! (webnerhouse.com)

Buy 2

   

Happened to stumble across the little portable work desk in the grocery store today...it was in the same aisle as the ingredients required for my afternoon kitchen experiment, therefore I felt the need to document.  This was the first, and only picture I took.

Say you: Watcha' making?  

Say me: I knew you would ask, so I'm prepared.  

I was reading a novel last week and it mentioned "Magic Bars" at the end.  I'd never heard of Magic Bars, so I looked them up.  They're also called "Hello Dolly's" and some people call them "7 Layer Bars".  I found several recipes online, of course, but to my chagrin they all called for coconut.  

Let's be clear here:  I don't do coconut in baked goods.  EVER.  In my opinion, coconut takes a completely good thing (read: chocolate) and turns it in to some concoction that does nothing more than trigger my gag reflex.  And I'm sorry, but "gag reflex" and "baked goods" should never appear in the same sentence.  

So I decided to make my own recipe.  I'm posting now so I won't forget it.  

Tanya's Magic Bars Which Rightfully Have NO Coconut  
(metric conversion here)

Oven: 350 degrees F

Pan: 13 x 9 

6 oz (1 cup) semi-sweet chocolate chips

6 oz  (1 cup) bitter sweet chocolate chips

6 oz (1 cup) peanut butter chips

1 cup graham cracker crumbs

1/2 cup (1 stick) butter  

1 1/2 cup old fashioned oats (not the quick-cook variety) 

1 cup finely chopped walnuts (although any nut will do) 

1 cup pretzels 

1 14 oz can sweetened condensed milk  (SCM)

Melt butter, mix with graham cracker crumbs, thoroughly combine then press into bottom of your pan.  This is your crust, so let that mixture know who's boss.  Next--and here's the fun part--throw in all the other dry ingredients.  There's no "right" way to do this, it's all going to melt into a gooey mess anyway.  Just make sure the crust is evenly coated with each ingredient.  I didn't even bother crushing the pretzels so I put them on first, but you do what you need to do. Mix and match your favorite nuts and flavored chips. There are hundreds of variations, including adding mini marshmallows.  After you toss in all the dry stuff (I put the oats on top to sandwich the melted stuff with the crust), pour and evenly distribute the SCM on top.  It will soak in and form the glue for all that goodness.  At first glance you might think you need more, but I promise one can is plenty.  These bars are rich.   


place in oven and cook for 25 to 30 minutes or until the SCM has a golden hue.  Let cool completely before cutting. 

And here's the best part:  Since they have oatmeal AND nuts, we can absolutely label this recipe as "health food".  I recommend one (or two) with your morning latte.  -> 

Related articles

• Chocolate pecan bars (atfirstglass.com)
• Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies (glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com)
• Pink Angel Squares Recipe (christiescorner.com)

Moosehead Gingerbread

t = teaspoon   T = tablespoon   Metric conversion here


Preheat Oven:  375 F 


2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

2 t baking soda

1/2 t salt

1 t cinnamon

1 1/2 t powdered ginger

1/4 t ground gloves 
1/2 t ground mustard
1/2 t ground black pepper
1/2 cup of fat.  Real butter is best, but veggie oil would work too.  
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
2 eggs 
1 cup molasses 
1 cup boiling water  


Grease and flour 8 inch square pan.  Combine all the dry ingredients, sift together on a piece of parchment and set aside.  Cream butter and sugar until well combined.  Add eggs and beat well, then add molasses and beat well.  Finally, add the water and beat well.  Next, combine the wet and dry ingredients and beat until the batter is smooth.  Pour batter into your prepared pan and bake for 35 to 45 minutes.  


A couple of thoughts:  This stuff is best when it's warm (with some butter melted on top.)  You can also make them into muffins.  The bread has a wonderful bite and is perfect for this time of year.  Plus it makes your house smell divine.  ->


Enjoy!  ->

Related articles: 

• Projects " How-To's " Gingerbread With Warm Apples And Cider Sabayon (cutoutandkeep.net)
• Molasses Spice Cake (charlotte.news14.com)
• Psychedelic moosehead touts chewy candy (adweek.blogs.com)