Ooh, la....WTH?

So this little dress is super cute, right?  I mean LOOK at it: hip color scheme.  Little bow on one side.  Lots of ruffles.  Sweet little heart.  Stretchy material makes for easy dressing and undressing. 

The brand name on it is Ooh! La! La!  

It should really be "CLEAR".  Because I promise, when you see the price tag on this thing your ticker will suffer and your cardiologist will thank me for it. (They have a website, of course. So you can go there and see I'm not exaggerating.  Oh, how convenient.  No prices listed.  Never mind.)

Ready?  

Sitting down?  

OK, but I warned you.....  

$95.95   

That's right.  Factoring in taxes, over one hundred bucks for a dress that your little one will a) outgrow in 3 months and b) likely wear no more than three times (photo shoot, wedding, grandparent's 40th anniversary party).   

I thought that with that kind of price the thing must be hand made, right?  Or at least made locally.  

Nope.  

Made in India. 

This boutique I happened upon today had all sorts of little nuggets like the one above.  Tights for $12 each (which isn't bad, I guess.  Then I think how quickly Little Missy rips a pair of tights and my feathers got ruffled). Soft, fluffy blankets priced at $56 each.  A fuzzy vest for $46.  A pair of jeans, size 2T (Half off!) for $31.  

Let me put something in perspective for you:  The last time I bought a pair of jeans for myself, they didn't cost $31.  Not even with tax. 

Say you: I'm sensing a rant...

Say me: Damn right. 

Sometimes I just shrug at luxury items.  And sometimes they flat-out offend me.  I'm offended when people spend this much money on children's clothes.  Children, who are the messiest creatures on the planet.  Children, who will find the mud-hole faster than a puppy.  Children, who will run and play and fall and, you know, rip their clothes.  Children, who don't eat food, but smear it---on their clothes.  

Say you: Ok, so you don't buy them for toddlers, you buy them for infants

Say Me: Allow me to address that.  

The fact that they will outgrow the chosen couture in 6 weeks notwithstanding, infants are no better than toddlers or kids.  Because when you factor in infants, you have to factor in bodily functions. Meaning fluids. Of all colors and aromas and from many, many orifaces.  And believe me, every single one of them will shift into high gear right at the most inconvenient times.  (Read: In the restaurant in front of the couple who has no children. Been there. Not fun.) So really, you're not just tempting fate the minute you force your precious to don any of those ensembles.  Your taunting fate.  Big difference.  And fate will answer with a gastrointestinal explosion that will clear a room.  Not to mention ruin the cute little dress. And the stuffed cushion.  And your own pants.... 

A hundred bucks is three tanks of gas. Food for a family of four for a week.  The cell phone bill. Two months of water and trash. Five tickets to The Dandy Warhols show in Dallas. Take your pick.  It should not be what you drop on a dress for a toddler, I don't care how much money you have.  

Whew.  Rant over.  You can now go back to your lives ->