Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Trumped by the Past

I had all these plans for posting some kind of sappy, post-Valentine entry today. I went to Little Missy's Valentine Day party at school, you see, and I was struck, as I generally am when I go into elementary schools, by the overall happiness that seems to engulf them. 

I was going talk about how colorful elementary schools are.   

I was going to reminisce* a bit about my own Valentine parties as a child.  

I was going to discuss the innocence and joys of childhood.

I was going to post all the pictures I took at Libby's party, highlighting all the CANDY they received from each other. Because what's Valentine's Day without mounds of carbs, namely chocolate? 

To top it all off, I was even going to offer a quick how-to, with pictures of course, for the craft I did with her class at said party. Because clearly the entry wouldn't have been maudlin enough without them.  

But it all got thrown out the window when a friend posted a link to some retro Valentine cards on Facebook.  

Gold, these are. I can't believe I've never encountered them before now.**  

Let's start off with a couple that are tailor made for all the emotionally manipulative highly motivated potential (or current) mates in your life. Shame, really, that you can't find cards anymore that just lay it on line like this anymore. "Darling!  I love you SO MUCH that I will kill myself in awful ways if you don't love me back":   

Or I'll just kill you in awful ways if you don't love me back: 

And then eat you:  

Or perhaps you opt for a more subtle approach? 

Not really into bodily harm? Ok, well hold, up there's more. Perhaps fetishes are more your thing. 

I love the double entendre going on here

Maybe you just want to go for the straight forward approach. You know, plain Jane. No kinky stuff, no overt threats to yourself or your Valentine, just a simple little message conveying your feelings. Which is completely understandable. Many of us are the same way. Here's the one for you:  

This one is for the vegetarian in your life: 

No Valentine at all, you say?  Forever alone, you say? No worries, I've got you covered: 

I must find a box of these. MUST. -> 

*OMG! I managed to spell that word correctly on the first try. Wow. That's worthy of a Facebook status update.  
**original Flickr stream

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