This Truck Needs a Name

The Geek drives an old truck. 


I'm not talking a retro cool, turquoise-1950's-Ford-or-Chevy old here.  


I'm talking about just an old, red truck.  


It's a 1995 Nissan King Cab and it has I don't even know how many miles on it.  It's not even pimped out or decorated or anything.  


Here, look: 

It gets better. Here's a closeup of one of his head lights: 

One of the tail lights in back?  


Red tape.  


And here's what his steering column looks like:  

Spiders have set up camp in there: an indication of the time frame.

That's right. No plastic cover so the innards are exposed.* It's been that way for years.  


And you know the vents that are at the top of your hood to keep out debris like leaves and twigs and squirrels?  His are gone. GONE. Gone also for years.  


None of this seems to matter to The Geek, who takes a certain amount of pride driving that nameless dinosaur to work day in and day out. People at the office have given him a hard time about it too, which has done nothing but make him dig in his heels deeper and keep trucking along, so to speak, in The Little Red Nissan. He's had to push start it at the office before and you know what lesson Mitch took away from that one? 


He's an elderly statesman because the kids who helped--kids who were old enough to have professional jobs--literally did not know you could jump start a car by popping the clutch.** 


It should go without saying that over time he's become quite attached to it. When Lil' Red was in the hospital not long ago, Mitch had access to and was driving a 5-speed Volvo, 2010 model.  


A VOLVO!  


His response when he picked up his own vehicle? The one with the barely working air conditioning in July in Oklahoma?  


"I missed my truck."   


Which brings me to the point of my story. A few weeks ago he went out of town and three miles outside the airport the truck broke down. We worked out logistics for me to go get it and when I got to the truck, I found this: 

He likes to Capitalize. For Emphasis, one assumes.   

I would say I was surprised to find the note, but here's the punch line of my story:  


This happens all the time.  


I'm not joking.  


All. The. Time.  


About a year ago I was watering plants in my driveway and a perfect stranger approached me: 


Said Him: Is that little Nissan for sale? 


Said Me: No, it's not. 


Said Him: Well here's my information anyway. Call me if you change your mind.  


EVERY time Mitch brings in the truck in to his preferred guy (he won't entrust it to just anyone, you see) said guy offers to buy the truck.  


You guys, we're sitting on a gold mine.  


Lil' Red is our retirement plan. -> 



*If that's not a metaphor, I don't know what is. 
**I was never very good at that, but I distinctly remember having to do it once in a parking lot in south OKC. Oddly enough, I was driving a Nissan.  

Betsy's Trinket

I saw The Boy going to his car with a pair of scissors last week and wondered what on earth that was all about.  


He was in and out in a matter of moments and so I had to ask: 


Me: What were you doing in there? 


The Boy: Oh! I was taking something off my car ornament.  


Me: Your car ornament?  


The Boy: Yeah. You haven't seen it yet?  


Of course he's going to get a car ornament for the vehicle. I drove the car for years and never gave it a name.  The Boy gets use of it and within a week she was christened "Betsy" and now she's wearing jewelry.  


As I was walking around to the front of the vehicle to take a gander, I wondered what on earth could have passed muster enough to bedeck Betsy.  


Batman? 


Superman? 


Green Latern? 


Darth Vader? 


No.  


Not for my kid.  He's more likely to choose a Sheldon Cooper bobble head.  Or some obscure Skyrim character. A Marine action figure.  Obama.


Or I could see him going for the complete cheese factor and buying fuzzy dice. Or the Hawaiian hula wiggle girl.  


A blow up doll?


Surely not.  


Oh God help me! It IS.  He bought a BLOW UP DOLL for his car. OMG, I'm horrified....


Then I got to the front of the car: 

And I take a closer look: 

That's right, folks.  


Twilight Sparkle.  


I just look at him...


The Boy: WHAT?  


And I reach for my phone...


The Boy: Oh God, you're taking pictures? This is going on the blog, isn't it?  


Me: Ya think?  -> 
  

Getting Old Sucks, Episode 3

You know how you go to the store and it's really crowded and you have a lot of stuff on your mind and you're shopping for 15 minutes hours so it's natural that you might have forgotten where you parked before you went in and then you go outside to the parking lot and you can't find your car?  


This happened to me recently.  


OK, it happened to me yesterday.


Before I go any further, let me explain something. When I'm forced to be a Mart of Darkness patron, I always try to park in the little side lot on the south side of the store. The lot only fits about 100 cars or so (as opposed to 6,548 cars the parking lot in front of the store fits) and because of its size, it's much easier to find my car. Sometimes, though, Wal-Fart will close off half of that parking lot to temporary house train cars full of cheap crap made in China really important stuff that I'm sure we all need. Even when those cargo crates are there I will drive through the little lot on the off chance a parking spot is available.  


Yesterday was one of those days. 


This is an important detail to tuck away.  


So I was running last-minute errands, something I'm sure I'll be doing all week, and  my mind was elsewhere. It was an astonishly quick trip for me as I had something quite specific in mind that I was shopping for. I stormed out the door with my goods in hand and walked straight to the section of the parking lot I use when the little section has nothing available.  


Which was pretty impressive, really.  I wasn't completely on auto-pilot and remembered BEFORE I walked to the little lot that there were no spots available in said little lot and I had to use the mammoth lot.  On these occasions I always park in the same vicinity so I can, you know, find my car.  


It was cold. 


It was windy.  


It was wet. 


It was monochromatic: 

I was in a hurry because I had two other places to patron before Libby arrived home from school and time was running short. 


Naturally I couldn't find my car.  


I walked ALL the way down one aisle of cars and ALL the way up another--which if you've been to a Super Mega Ultra Darth Mart you know is easily 2 miles. 


Huh. I missed it on my first pass.  I'll try again.  And this time I'll use my car clicker.  Love that thing, which has a range that goes on forever, so when I click it my car will call out to me and say "Here I am!" with a little beep. 


There I go, being all clever.


Except there was no beep. 


Walking and clicking and walking and clicking and walking and clicking and NO beep.  


Let me tell you something:  


When it's cold and wet and windy and monochromatic and you're in a hurry and you KNOW you parked here somewhere on THIS aisle, (or maybe the one next door, but still, you parked right here somewhere) and you're walking and clicking and walking and clicking and there's no beep, there is no room in ones thought processes for logic or rationality.   


Someone stole my car.  


Clearly. 


An abridged running commentary in my head:  


HOW could this happen?  It's broad daylight out and this parking lot has security and why on earth would someone want to make off with my little Subaru anyway? (click--no beep) I guess it's pretty new but still...This close to Christmas to boot! Nice. (click CLICK--no beep) Way to go asshole. (CLICK CLICK--no beep) I hope you feel good stealing a woman's car. A woman with CHILDREN. OH MY GOD. How can I possibly work out later if I'm in the middle of dealing with the police about a stolen vehicle? That's going to take forever. (CLICK CLICK CLICK--no beep) Mitch is going to have to leave work early so he can be home when Libby gets there. OH. My. GAWD. Insurance is going to be a living nightmare. I don't want to have to drive a rental again. (CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK--no beep.) I can't believe someone STOLE MY CAR.   


I was out of my head and near tears but had to yet to make any kind of phone call but was thisclose when out of nowhere it struck me.  


The realization that yes, I actually did park in the little lot by the side of the store. I just didn't park in an actual parking space--I sorta made one up.  


The good news is no one stole my car. -> 

Carts

Ride Like a Girl

Love it when vehicles essentially become billboards.  I'm actually surprised I haven't explored this further. -> 

f150

A picture of what is, next to the Hummer, the most obnoxious vehicle on the road today. Have you ever stood next to one of these things? They. Are. Massive. Like, scary big. Especially when you're on the highway and the jackass driving one is 1) A tail-gaiter and 2) insists on driving 95 mph.

On a completely different note, I found a new app for my pad. It's pretty nifty. If you have an iToy and you like photography even just a wee bit, you should give this free app a whirl. ->


-Posted using (enter requisite phrase which brags about your cool gadgets and applications for said gadget here)

3104 NW 23rd

Do you have one of these places in your town? This right here is evidence of how our fast food nation business model has run amuck.

The Dental Depot. Complete with a cute little train engine in the parking lot and lots of cookie-cutter landscaping in an poor attempt to make the customer the patient feel as if he's walking into an actual medical office. As opposed to some kitschy franchise. Which is all they are. I know of three of these offices in the Oklahoma City metro area, and I've no doubt there are more.

What really baffles me is who on earth came up with the concept of coupling train depots with root canals? How does this marriage even work? Because I don't know about you, but when I think of getting my teeth cleaned in conjunction with the hygienist fussing at me for not flossing regularly, the first thing that comes to my mind is "laughing gas" not "steam engines."

Oh!!

Never mind. DUH! Laughing gas was impetus.

Makes total sense now. ->




-Posted using (enter requisite phrase which brags about your cool gadgets and applications for said gadget here)

I Changed My Mind

 

I had another picture up, but five days later I've completely changed my mind. 


Say You: You can't do that! 
Say me: Can to!  MY blog.  MY project. Besides, I'm a girl.  We're entitled. 


I took this picture the same day and should have gone with it.  I was irritated because from this view you can't tell it's a van nor can you read the name of the restaurant. But so what? I Love the texture and I'm not providing free advertising for everyone.  (Like my 18 followers are going to have this huge impact on their bottom line.)   Plus it's better than the PAAS pic I had posted before.  Which was a disaster.  Why didn't any one tell me?  -> 

On Your Mark

 

I had something completely different in mind until I saw my keys in the ignition.  You wouldn't believe the acrobatics I had to do to get a decent angle and shot.  The ones I attempted from under the keys were particularly amusing challenging.  Not to mention resounding failures.  ->  

7Eleven

  

Hipstamatic Jimmy Lens coupled with float film.  (Sometimes) LOVE. ->

Mobile

 

Well.  Taking a picture of the parking lot seemed a good idea at the time.  ->

Unlead

Man.  Gas has gone up in my area.  

(Respond with flatulence jokes at will) ->

262

Just so we're clear: Pepsi sucks.  

But the truck was right there and it was begging for a photo op.  These are the sacrifices I make for my art. ->

H3

Little Missy, to me as I'm getting in my stealth shot:  That's not polite, Mom.  

Me: Yeah, well...neither is driving a Hummer. * ->

*Fine.  I didn't actually say that.  I thought of that retort about an hour later.  

The Blues

 

I chased this car around for weeks before I 1) saw it parked and 2) had time to take some pics.  

All right, truth be known I saw it on the road coming from the opposite direction. I then U-turned and stalked it.  -> 

2010

Picture of the Day

I was driving home from the busy, almost Christmas-eve bustle of downtown Norman today, and in an effort to avoid the traffic on Main Street, I took a turn down a nearby residential street.  

It was the best decision I made all month.

I thought I had my Pic 'O the Day when I saw the Hummer on Main Street.  I was going to write about my being a stealth photographer and pride myself on being all subversive blah blah blah.  

And this I saw this: 

And I thank my lucky stars that no one was driving behind me because I quite literally slammed on my breaks and backed up in the middle of the street so I could 1) take a closer look and 2) find a parking place.  

This truck is the most glorious thing I've seen in months.  Naturally the owner caught me red-handed snapping pictures and I simply did not care.  Besides, if you're driving this thing around, not only are you begging for people to take pictures of it, you're begging to be featured on some whimsical HGTV show.  

Poor man.  All he gets is my obscure blog.  

William Patterson is his name.  He was so nice and obviously proud of his project. He coached high school baseball for years and now is a plumber.  Obviously, he's a huge fan of the game and he's visited every major league stadium in North America. He had a Dodger Stadium sign bolted to the (other) side of the truck and many of the baseballs displayed on the dashboard were from games he attended.  

The truck used to belong to his brother but they both had mobile museums.  Then his brother died, so Mr. Patterson took over the truck and combined the memorabilia from both.  He has no plans of letting this one go.  

Here's the best part:  

Yes.  All of that paraphernalia is BOLTED to the hood.  See the gloves on either side? One belong to his son and one belonged to a grandchild.  The catcher's vest?  That was his son's.  Interspersed among all the hard hats are figurines:  

 

He said he had thousands of them.  I counted a baker's dozen on the hood, but I've no doubt I missed some.  

The range of stuff he displayed was amazing.  Everything from kitsch to genuine antiques to objects that held sentimental value, obviously the most precious to him. See the bat and the ball?  He had them all over the truck and most were either from his offspring or his coaching days.  

I love this:  

And the inside of the truck was not spared.  Observe: 

That's right, folks.  The grandkids have free reign in that vehicle, and the ceiling was covered as well, with drawings and phone numbers and buttons of the kids and grandkids in their uniforms. 

So here he is...Mr. William Patterson.  Who, by the way, doesn't even have an email address so I can't send this entry to him.  He gave me permission to post, though, and said other people have put pictures of his masterpiece "on the computer".  

Best of all, this truck in not only in good working order, he takes it on road trips.  


Fabulous.  -> 

Apache10

I have a crush on older cars and really, really want one.  


REALLY want one.  


Really.  


Santa?  


Hello?  


Bonus on this particular model:  The license tag was "PICKLE-O".  


Awesomeness.  ->

MWB

First shot!  FIRST and only picture!  Wheeee!!!!  

(diggity dance)

Say you: Geez.  Calm thyself.  

Say me: After getting called out on two hours sleep one hour before my shift was due to end, being completely duped during an assessment earlier today and dropping the just-made brownies on the floor, I'll take what I can get. ->

Ford

 
I'm really anxious for my truck to get up and running again.  I ran over a piece of glass, you see, and those tires are a bit hard to come by.  ->

Tonka Truck

    

What I ended up posting today was only tangentially related to my original thought and pictures.  When I initially saw this pic, I completely disregarded it.  But the more I looked at it, the more it became one of my favorites so far.  ->